Oneshot
by WhiteTulip6BLou
Summary: you find you have a few weeks left to live...how do you spend those weeks and who with...how do you tell your loved ones you won't be there? Sara is dying what will she do with the time that is left for her? magical twist at the end so don't despair :D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N.** People tell you that you only get one shot at life…is it true? If it is how would choose to spend your last few days or weeks? I have made up some facts about the illness and I will apologise if I cause offence or get certain facts wrong but I am only trying to write a story so hopefully you will forgive me…

**Disclaimer**. I do not, will not, have not, can not, should, not and could not own CSI. I don't have the money for one thing.

Sara Sidle woke up with an almighty headache and shooting pains cursing through her body, sitting up slowly and reaching for her glass of water and many packets of pain killers and vitamin tablets provided for her by the Doctor.

It had been three weeks since she had been feeling the effects of the illness she had been fighting since birth. She had been a fighter and all these years of living with leukaemia had helped her to be more reflective and optimistic. Recently she had lost a lot of weight and her skin looked paler than usual, so Sara had arranged for a meeting with her doctor to find out what was causing her to feel that way.

The news wasn't good in fact it was the worst possible news to get. Sara had four weeks to live and there was no possible way of medication or transplants working.

What do you do when you realise you are leaving the people you love most behind, what makes you see life through to the end, how do you tell people your dying? This is what Sara had to face and although she never hide from any task this was one she would be going alone.

Sara spent three hours on each person she could think of that meant something to her and wrote them a letter which included every moment that had caused Sara to be thankful for her life, she also planned to do one activity with each person and capture the memory of each day so that they could remember her last few days of life.

She decided to give the letters to Judy one the day before her passing so that she didn't have to tell them herself, she wasn't taking the cowards way out she was just stopping herself from seeing the disheartened and saddened faces.

**19****th**** June 2007 **

Sara was setting off for work as usual, stopping off to buy coffee and doughnuts for everyone before the start of another shift, despite the aches and pains Sara had high hopes for the way this shift would work out.

"Hey you guy's" Sara said placing the treats on the table

"Oh cool coffee and doughnuts" Greg managed stuffing a chocolate covered doughnut into his mouth "You know the way to a mans heart Sara Sidle"

Everyone laughed as he started to choke on a particularly large bite "Yeah Greggo and you know your way to the morgue" Nick said sipping his coffee

"Greg can I have a word with you before shift?" Sara asked earning herself glances from the others

"Why of course" He said winking at her "I knew she'd choose me"

Leading the way to the locker room she sat down on the bench pulling Greg down too

"Look I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I was wondering if you would like to take me to one of those wacky desert races things?" she asked

"Really…you want me to take you on a date to the races?" Greg asked excitedly

"Well everyone else is invited to come and watch but I'll be racing you" she smirked

"So it's not a date?"

"No Greg not a date but a quality time day out between you and me with the others for support"

"Well ok sure, I can totally kick your ass at something and prove it" he said in defeat and challenge.

"Cool, we better get back to the break room" she said

When they arrived back at the break room Grissom was already sat there waiting for them to return

"Sorry, erm…next Sunday Greg's taking me to the desert races and well if you want to come and watch me kick his ass then please feel free to come, I've hired the course out for the day" Sara said sending an apologetic glance at Grissom for stopping his handout of cases and for letting Greg take her out.

If only they knew the truth she thought as she sat looking around the break room at the smiling faces…

TBC what do you think…too much…not enough…rubbish story? I'd love to hear from you :D


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** So I think I need to do another summary for you at this point just to make the story clearer and also I need to apologise for the nature of this story is slightly depressing but trust me if you read it to the end you will be happy and not sad as it will have a twist that hopefully you won't see till the last chapter.

**Disclaimer** I really am silly I should just kidnap CSI and take the cast and crew hostage until they give me the rights (sound like a good idea?)

**Summary **Does anyone live life to the full? Does anyone ever have time to do the things they should? Does anyone stop and think…what if I die tomorrow? This story is about revelation, realisation and enlightenment.

* * *

Sara met up with Greg in the garage in the desert racing site, she was dressed in some old joggers and a hooded top, "Hey Greg, you ready for me to kick your ass?" she asked happily seeing him dressed for the occasion

"I though I told you last week it would be me kicking your ass Sidle" he said emphasising the last name usage. He was dressed in a racing suit including the helmet, it was blue with red stars flowing down one side of it.

"Well we will soon see won't we" she said heading for her garage "We have separate garages as I've got a surprise for you" she smiled

"Wow what a woman" he said watching her leave

Ten minutes later she pulled out of her garage in a beautiful hand painted racing car and she was also wearing a racing suit to match but this suit was revealing and made for one reason…to distract other drivers.

She laughed as she saw Greg's mouth drop "Close your mouth Greggo, you look like you haven't seen a woman before" she said still chuckling

"I haven't seen one that looks half as good as you do in that suit" he said truthfully

"Well I'll see you at the finish line and we have to get our pictures taken" she said waving to Greg

"The guys will be waiting for us" he shouted back

_Grissom's going to have a heart attack when he sees Sara like that_ Greg thought as he climbed into the driving seat

"It's a good job this is my hobby because otherwise she would win for sure" he said out loud before starting his car up.

Heading to the starting line Sara beeped her horn and flashed Greg a glimpse of her purple and gold suit sparkling in the sunlight.

She began to think of how this would be one of the best days of her life and that it was a shame she wouldn't be able to do it again, that's the thing with inevitable death…if your not ready for it you realise just how much you are going to miss life and how much time you had to do things like this but never did.

Startled back to the present she heard the beep of the starting line and she got into gear for racing Greg, over the loud speaker she could hear THREE…TWO…ONE and then the gun shot rang out as she pulled out first to get the best spot on the track.

They were neck and neck for sometime as they headed down the desert track trying to cut the other one off and win the title of best CSI driver, Greg pulled in front of Sara and he beeped his horn only for Sara to speed past him and wink. They were heading to the finish line and Greg, trying his hardest saw Sara drive the car with one hand whilst open her suit a bit more with the other, this distracted him and Sara pulled into the finish line first to hear the cheers from the rest of the gang. Greg was fuming yet amused as he got out of his car and walked over to Sara's to help her out.

"You are a cheat Miss Sidle" he said smiling "But well done you drive like a pro"

"That is because I am a pro Greg" she smiled and gave him her hand so he could help her out "And I didn't cheat, I won fair and square Mr. Sanders" she said mockingly

As she stepped out of the car Nick, Warrick and Catherine wolf whistled at her suit clearly thinking as Greg did…that she looked gorgeous, she smiled as her eyes met Grissom's he was shocked to say the least and his mouth was almost on the floor. Catherine walked over to congratulate Sara whilst Nick and Warrick made fun of Greg, Grissom still stood in the same spot too stunned to move and this caught the attention of the rest of the CSI's.

"Griss…you ok man, you look pale" Warrick asked laughing

"Snap out of it, it's not like you haven't seen Sara before" Catherine said getting herself a glare from Sara

"Greg, its photo time come on" Sara said to distract the others

Walking to the photographer Sara had hired she smiled back at Grissom who smiled weakly back and she walked almost seductively over to the podium just for Grissom's benefit.

If only they knew the truth she thought as she smiled for the camera…

* * *

TBC… well this chapter was light hearted and shows Sara making an effort to be happy around her friends even in the light of what's going to happen so please review and if you do I might get another chapter up for you tonight and one tomorrow :D 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** Chapter three just because I love you all :D

**Disclaimer** I don't own anything not even the rights to CSI

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Sara had enjoyed the day she spent with Greg and as a result her wining had the team laughing at Greg for getting beaten by a girl.

It was the start of shift and as usual for this week the topic of conversation was Greg losing.

"It's not my fault she was dressed like that, it would distract anyone" he said stating the obvious.

"Oh come on Greg just admit you aren't a good driver" Nick said playfully

"No I won't I am the best driver ever and I let her win" he said

"Greggo, I could win you blindfolded simple as that" Sara said laughing "I really enjoyed that day out though

"Only cos you won" Greg stated looking at the A3 size picture of Sara and Greg on the podium "and I'm never going to be able to forget that am I?"

"Hopefully not" Sara mumbled suddenly growing sad at the fact she couldn't stick around to tease Greg or hear the others make fun of him.

Grissom chose this moment to enter with the case slips, "We have a B and E, that's it so who wants it? He asked looking around

"Greg you want to join me on it?" Nick asked looking at Grissom for approval

"Sure if it gets me out the way of Sara's big head" he laughed

"Jealousy gets you nowhere Greg" she answered smiling

"Me jealous of you…fat chance…I'm way better looking" he joked as he and Nick left the room.

Everyone laughed at Greg's parting comment and they stayed put at the table whilst Grissom boiled the kettle for more coffee. pulling a chair out next to Sara he looked at the two people opposite him, Warrick and Catherine had been living with each other for a few weeks and even though they always acted professionally whilst on the job they were perfectly suited for each other and the loving glances that passed between them caused a pang of guilt and jealousy to pass through Grissom for he was never able to pick up the courage to ask Sara for a date even though he knew they both liked each other.

"So Warrick, your good at poker aren't you?" Sara asked moving on to the second person on her list of activity days to do with each of her loved ones

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Warrick asked curiously

"Well how about we have a poker challenge just you and me, the others can watch?" she said simply

"Sure why not, I didn't know you played poker though" he said

"I'm a quick learner and I like to challenge myself" she said looking at Grissom with pleading eyes

"Well you're on, How about I bet you 50 dollars that I win" he said smiling at Catherine who was staring at Sara wondering why she wanted to spend time with Greg and Warrick

"Deal" she said "Now if you would just excuse me, I need the ladies room" she smiled standing up

Grissom decided to follow her as she didn't enter the bathroom but entered the locker room instead.

"Oh hey Grissom, I was just going to get my brush" she lied seeing him follow her

"Oh I …sorry I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to help you learn how to play poker?" he asked

"Please, I don't know anything about poker" she said

"Then why challenge Warrick who's a great player?" he asked

"I thought it would be cool to see how good he is at playing?" she answered "I don't spend half as much time as I should with the people I love" she shrugged her shoulders whilst leaning in to her locker to pop three pills into her mouth discreetly, pretending to be searching for her brush.

"Okay well I'll send Warrick and Catherine t the next case and I'll teach you" he said turning with a smile to head back to the break room.

_That was close Sidle _she said to herself as she walked to the break room as well.

Just as she entered a beep went off and Grissom suddenly smiled at the pager he was holding.

"Something funny Gil?" Catherine asked seeing his expression

"Yes actually, you two have a decomp" he said pointing at Warrick and Catherine

"What no way, send Sara and yourself" she said

"No Cath, I'm teaching Sara how to play poker so you two can head off to the scene" he said happily

"Well have fun" Warrick said not too bothered about having a decomp as long as he was with Catherine.

"We will be here to assist when you get back" Grissom shouted to there retreating backs "Now then poker" he said with a smile pulling out three packs of cards and shuffling each pack.

Three hours later both pairs were back one carrying a bag of lemons and the other carrying a case file with the case wrapped up.

Nick and Greg had the B and E finished when the suspect turned up to finish off robbing the place and Catherine and Warrick found the decomp to be a dead cat which was run over and the old lady owner had placed her in a bag in her dinning room, when the lady passed away she had left the bag for the new owners to find.

"So all in all a good night…Sara knows how to play poker and you four have wrapped up the cases quickly" Grissom summarised after Catherine and Warrick returned from their shower.

"Why does Sara need to know how to play poker?" Greg asked curiously

"Well I've challenged Warrick to a one on one game of poker that will take place tomorrow two hours before shift" Sara said

"Oh cool, can we all watch, cos Warrick will win hands down" Greg said

"Sure" Warrick replied smiling

"This will be something to remember" Nick said knowing the capabilities of Warrick and the competitiveness of Sara.

If only they knew thought Sara as she drove home at the end of shift…

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TBC…so good or bad please let me know 


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** I just want to apologise for ay mistakes I make, I'm not too good at English and I haven't got a beta so please forgive me. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Disclaimer **I don't own…oh never mind surely they know by now that I just play around with the characters and amuse my readers.

* * *

Sara had rarely woken up dreading going to work but this morning the pain had increased and her headache was worse than usual. She was looking forward to Warrick and her card game but the way she was feeling was certainly a distraction.

She was glad that her plan to spend at least one hour focussing on her friends wasn't causing too much suspicion and this helped her to make the decision to go hand her notice in to Ecklie so that she could take the last week off before her… no she wasn't going in to that right now.

An hour later and feeling more positive Sara walked over to her car trying to think of all the possibilities and tricks she had to use to win Warrick, the poker champion, at cards.

"Sara, hey wait up" Greg shouted pulling into the car park "I want to give you some tips for your game"

"Oh thanks Greg but Grissom's got that covered" she said

"Grissom…" he replied wafting his hand to signal he wasn't impressed "He's old fashioned man"

"Rather that than your new age tricks Greggo" Sara answered

"Whew, Sara you don't do things by half do you?" Nick Said panting

"Where did you come from?" Greg asked

"The same place you did Greg" Nick answered confused "Anyway as I was saying, you sure you want to face Warrick?"

"Yes Nick, I do" she answered

"Hey Sara, Nick…Greg" Grissom said rounding the corner to come face to face with his team.

"Hey" they all replied

Walking into the break room felt like getting sent down for life imprisonment and Sara thought it was funny and ironic how she could feel like this when she initiated the game.

"Sara…and here's me thinking you wouldn't show" Warrick laughed as he sat at the readily prepared poker table

"You put your money where your mouth is and lets play" Sara said competitively

"Oh girl, you gonna lose so bad" he smiled as Catherine started to deal cards

"Oh Cath,just one thing you cheat and there's no turning back for you once I finish pounding your ass" Sara said threateningly

"Ha ha, my sides are killing me, you sure you can pull of a threat like that" she smiled

"I'm just saying, it is a bit biased that you're dealing when you and Warrick are together" she answered smiling back

"Well same thing goes if Grissom was dealing and since we are the only two guys who know how to deal…" Cath answered

"How could it be the same, nothing is going on between the two of us" Sara said pointing at Grissom and blushing

"Call" Warrick shouted and Sara looked up and realised the game had started and she wasn't concentrating

"Damn, erm ok call" Sara said as well

One hour a half later Sara was losing miserably and as Grissom was amusedly pointing out she couldn't win now even if she tried. Greg and Nick were having real fun taunting her and Catherine was just smiling like a chesire cat that got the cream.

"I... fold" Sara said dejectedly

"WOOO" Warrick shouted give a high five to Nick and Greg and kissing Catherine. Pocketing the fifty dollar bill Sara held out to him "Music to my ears that, Sidle" he smiled

"Sara, I told you to take tips from me" Greg said smiling widely

"I still kicked your ass, Greg so stop boasting" she replied laughing at the rest of them, when they fell about laughing at Greg's sudden pale face.

"You did well" Grissom whispered into her ear causing her to shiver and look round

"I had a good teacher" she replied smiling

"Want to go for dinner after shift?" Grissom asked hoping she'd accept and not take it as some strange losers dinner.

"Erm…I've got a meeting with Ecklie after shift so how about before tomorrow's shift?" she asked warily

"Sure, I'll pick you up at seven and wear something fancy, I'm booking a restaurant that doesn't allow trainers" he suggested to a shocked Sara "So what does Ecklie want?"

"A…chat" she lied not looking at Grissom

"Oh" he said sensing something was wrong

"So, I'll see you at seven" she said walking up to pick up her new case.

Sara spent the rest of shift extremely happy and the reason was she had finally been asked to dinner by Grissom, despite the fact it was going to be a bitter sweet moment for her she was still going to enjoy it.

She still had Nick and Catherine to take out and spend quality time with as well as Brass but she knew Brass was gin got invite her to his place for Sunday lunch as he did every week since his shooting. They had become best friends and he was like a dad to Sara she was simply awed by the fact someone of no relation could care for her like Jim did. It hit her hard when he heard he was shot and she spent every moment she could by his hospital bed, in fact he had commented that Grissom and herself were there so often that he felt like he was talking to the same person because of the way they spoke about each other and said things exactly the same way.

"Hey Jim, I guess Sunday lunch is still on then" she grinned as she saw the guy standing outside an interrogation room.

"Of course Doll" he replied

"Guess what happened to me today" she said feeling like a child telling her dad what she did at school

"What happened sweetheart, apart from you getting beaten by Warrick" he chuckled

"You heard? Well it doesn't matter I was a beginner and he's a pro." She said "Anyway Grissom has asked me to dinner tomorrow night before shift" she smiled letting the happiness fill up her eyes and soul

"Great, he finally gets the hint" he replied

"So, I've also got to go and see Ecklie" she said avoiding Jim's eyes

"What for?" Brass asked curiously

"Oh a chat, I'll tell you about it on Sunday" she said happily

"I'll hold you to that princess" he said putting a hand on her shoulder before heading to his office.

Heading back to the break room she heard laughter and joking and it hurt, she never did spend that much time just messing around with the team and she felt like she was gong to miss that.

Oh if only they knew, Sara thought as she wandered back to the lab...

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TBC…so how was that? 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**. This might be a long chapter because of all the idea's I have running through my head at the mo. Enjoy…

**Disclaimer **I don't own them, seriously its no laughing matter, if I did I would probably end up in jail for not sticking to one story idea.

* * *

Sara was nervous as she stood outside Ecklies office after shift, she knew this meeting would be difficult as she would be handing in her notice so that her last week could be spent at home.

Knocking on the door and hearing a 'come in' echo through the hallway she braced herself before turning the handle and entering his office. Her dislike for the man sat before her was so intense the tension was very hard to bear and so she sat down quickly and began to talk.

"I have my resignation form for you to sign" she said simply

"I don't sign your resignation form Sara, Grissom is your supervisor" he snarled chucking the sheet back at her

"I'd appreciate it if you could sign it, I don't want a fuss" she said

"Pass the form" he said realising the faster he did it the better

"Three weeks notice, fine" he said to Sara as he read her specifics "So how fast do you want your reference"

"I don't need a reference where I'm going" she replied not totally lying but skirting around the truth

"Everyone gets a reference Sara, even you" he smiled sarcastically

"As I said I don't need one" she replied more determinedly

Ecklie carried on reading the form suddenly stopping when he read the reason why she wanted to leave. "Sara…" he said "Is this true?" he asked looking up at her pale face

"It is" she answered "And if it is possible I don't want anyone to know, I have…prepared a…letter for each of my colleagues and this should be enough to help them with the…cope with their loss" she said tears building up in her deep brown eyes

"Sara…I'm so sorry…if we had known…was...sorry is, there anything we can do for you?" he asked his face clearly showing his concern and sadness.

"Thanks, but I'm sorted and I really would appreciate it if everyone didn't know until the receive their letter especially Grissom" she said a single tear dropping from her eye and flowing down her cheek, gracefully landing on her wrist

"Sara, I know we haven't had the best relationship but I want you to know, you were a truly remarkable CSI and a credit to this Lab." He said passing her a tissue

"Thank you Conrad, it means a lot, I'm just sorry I can't stick around" she said finally succumbing to her tears

"Are you sure you want to deal with this on your own?" he asked seeing how upset she was

"I need to deal with this alone, I can't bear to see their distraught faces, they mean so much to me and I can't allow them to go through it" she said drying her eyes

"Well Sara as you wish, I really am sorry" he gave her a swift smile as she turned to leave his office

Glad that the meeting went as planned she now had three weeks of work left before the impending darkness stole her soul.

> > > > > > > > 

Eight hours later Sara was sat at her breakfast bar awaiting Grissom's arrival, she had a long black elegant yet simple dress that would highlight her weight loss but magnify the beauty of her slim figure, she had only worn this dress once and so feeling the impulse to wear it again she slid it over her head and let the material flow through her fingers. She had tied her hair up into a sleek bun and left a few strands to dangle by her ears. Feeling ready she looked up at her clock and realised she had ten minutes to spare, pulling her photo album out she started placing all her most meaningful photos on the table and placing sticky notes on each one depicting the day, time, place and names of the people in the photo so that once she ready to place them in the scrap book she was making as a final gift she would know what to write underneath each photo.

As if on cue a knock on the door alerted Sara to the fact she was going to dinner with Grissom and feeling a headache coming she opened the door to Grissom before excusing herself for one second. Grissom was too shocked to reply and just nodded as he watched her head to the bathroom, she looked stunning and he couldn't believe he waited this long to let her into his life, she meant more to him than anyone else had and yet he pushed her away because of his fear of rejection. Tonight was about to be the best night of his life and as he was starting to relax he noticed to photos.

Remembering each memory that came with the photos he smiled when his eye caught hold of Sara holding Greg in a head lock and both looking thoroughly happy yet angry and it had been one of the first days Grissom had seen Sara mess around with the team as though she belonged there and this made Grissom feel happy he'd chosen her to help him with his predicament over Warrick.

"Oh, I…was putting together a scrap book of the best moments of my life so far" she said noticing him smiling at the photos

"Hmmm, interesting, I forgot you once had Greg in a headlock" he chuckled holding out his arm for Sara "You look gorgeous by the way" he said rather confidently

"Thanks" she smiled glad he didn't suspect anything from the photo arranging

"Shall we" he said opening her door for her as they arrived at the restaurant

"Of course" she grinned giving him her hand

As they entered the building Sara gasped at the magnificence of the art work covering the ceiling and walls. "Wow" she exclaimed as the approached the waiter.

"Table for two, under Grissom" he said to the waiter

"We have a suitable table for you and your wife near the window" he said pointing to another waiter who was already holding two menus.

"Thanks" Grissom replied "Sorry Sara" he also whispered as he realised he had referred to them as a married couple.

"It's ok," she said not minding after all she dreamt of this kind of situation almost every night

Sitting down Sara looked at her menu, "Griss…this is all vegetarian food" she said

"Yes this is a vegetarian restaurant" he replied seeing he face light up at his thoughtfulness

"You didn't have to, I think I could manage seeing you eat meat" she said feeling awkward that she was stopping him from eating meat

"Sara, you're not the only vegetarian in the Las Vegas crime lab" he smiled remembering the moment he stopped eating meat

"When?" she asked really shocked

"Last year after I went to a seminar on using carcasses as experiments" he explained "These people went around waiting for these animals to die before chopping them up and using them as experiments before taking them home and eating them, it wasn't very nice" he shivered "I stopped eating meat then"

"Well, you always seem to amaze me Grissom" she said wondering if that was the real reason he became a vegetarian.

He raised his glass in response and took a sip of the adult fruit juice they offered as an alternative to wine seeing as they had to go to work in three hours.

When the main meal arrived Sara and Grissom were chatting away as if the past few years had never happened, she was smiling and laughing at the jokes Grissom was telling and he was simply blown away every time she smiled or took a sip of her drink, this was how it should be he thought as she looked out of the window.

When she turned back their eyes met and neither of them wanting to look away tried to see the inner thoughts of the other as the sexy brown eyes stared into the gorgeous blue ones. Grissom knew they had a connection and at this very moment he could read Sara like she and he were one, feeling the pain and sadness she held caused him discomfort and he now realised Sara was hiding something.

"Can…I ask what your meeting with Ecklie was for?" he asked breaking their contact

"You can ask...but I can't answer" she said regretting not being able to look him in the eye and tell him the truth.

"Sara, I know something's not right, I see it when I look into your eyes" he said pausing as the waiter cleared away their plates. "Please Sara trust me as you once did"

"Griss…Gil, I wish I could but I can't, this is something I have to deal with" she said crossing her fingers to stop herself from crying

"Sara…I…have something I want to say but I think it's probably too late" he said looking up into those mesmerising and captivating eyes of the women he loved

"I'm…not sure it's a good idea, I don't want to hurt you Griss." She said trying to halt what he was about to say

"Sara, I've hurt you so much more than you have or ever could hurt me and I want to make things right between us" he said showing the agony he felt so strongly by grabbing her hands and entwinning their fingers.

"Griss please…I…don't know what to say but believe me if…I had the time to do this, I would…" Realising she'd said more than she wanted to.

"Sara, let me try, I'm going to a body farm next week and I'd love it if you would accompany me" he said desperately

"That sounds great but I mean it when I say I don't want to hurt you, you will understand in due course but you have to wait" she said trying not to slip up

"Maybe we should head back to the lab" he said "We can arrange a time and place for next week later on" he said happier than he had been a moment ago.

As they got to the lab Sara got out and waited for Grissom to catch up, I'm just going to head to the locker room to change out of this dress" she said looking at Grissom

"Yeah, you really do look beautiful Sara" he said shyly

"Thanks" she blushed before hearing the heavy footsteps of the one guy Sara knew to walk like that

"Jeez Sara you scrub up well" Warrick said eyeing her black dress "Been somewhere nice?" he asked seeing Grissom head to the break room where Warrick was also heading.

"Yep, I've been somewhere nice" she smiled carrying on her walk to the locker room

"Not even gonna tell me where?" he said to her retreating back

If only he knew she thought as she went to get some pain relief for her head…

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TBC… do you like? Please review, I promise that within the next five chapters of this story you will be thoroughly happy as I turn this story around into something magical. 


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N** ok so we are in the final stretch 5 chapters to go before I concentrate on my other stories. Please review.

**Disclaimer **I do not own CSI

* * *

**25****th**** June 2007 **

Early Sunday morning Sara was heading over to Jim Brass's house for lunch and a catch up on the gossip of the week. Knowing what she was about to tell Brass she felt her stomach lurch and she realised her big secret would have to be told.

Knocking on the door she smiled as he answered it wearing his purple dressing gown and a cigar in his mouth.

"Hey doll" he smiled back opening to door to allow her entrance.

"Nice robe" she chuckled

"It helps me wind down after shift" he said holding up a glass of scotch

"Hmmm, I go for a run, eat a packet of pretzels and watch a film" she said comparing her wind down to his

"I prefer mine" he said "So how's life?"

"Oh it's ok, you know, you put away a few murderers, beat Greg at racing, get beaten by Warrick in cards and go to dinner with Grissom." She smiled at the last part

"And talk to Ecklie?" he suggested "Before you tell me how about I get you a drink and something to eat?"

"That sounds great but no food, I don't think I can manage it" she grimaced

"Ok no food got ya" he said handing Sara a coffee "So you want to tell me what Ecklie wanted?"

"It was more, what I wanted" she said sadly

"Now I'm confused, why would you want to go and see Ecklie, Oh wait one supervisor not good enough for you" he laughed

"Give it a rest Jim, and no I do not like Ecklie" she replied gloomily

"Anyway you still haven't got the one you want, why I heard you kept trying to stop a certain Grissom from telling you he loved you" he said not smiling anymore "Now that says to me something's up, for one thing you love Grissom more than anything even me" he chuckled "and two you go to see Ecklie when you despise the guy"

"Yeah about that, I told Grissom I didn't want to hurt him, which I will do eventually" she said miserably

"Sara, far from hurting him you would be making him the happiest guy in the world" Jim said not believing what he was hearing

"That's what I went to Ecklie for" she said slowly

"I've had to hand my resignation in Jim, my circumstances have changed and I won't be able to stay here anymore" she said as she saw the shock in his eyes

"Sara…what's happening, we've been close for the last year or so and not once have you been like this…resignation?" he inquired

"Yeah…erm I don't know how to say this but the leukaemia…well it's…it's finally claimed my life for itself." She said tears falling silently down her face

"No, Sara your not, you can't oh god" Jim stuttered seeing her break down

"Jim you're the first person I've told and the only person I want telling, I…" she stopped to take in a deep breathe

"Sara, you are so young, beautiful, talented…I can't believe it" he said quietly "you sure you want to go through with it on your own?"

"I can't bare to see any of the team, my family watch me die Jim and I'm sorry I've told you but your like my dad and you deserve the truth" she said wiping her eyes on her sleeve

"Sara you deserve respect and you know I won't tell anyone if that's what you want" he said now giving in to his own tears

"Thanks Jim, I'm scared you know, I am going to miss everyone" she said joining Jim in his crying

"Is that why you're doing things with the guys?" he asked after five minutes

"Yeah…I am trying to spend time with each of them and…I've got letters that I want to well give you to hand out in three week's time" she said looking at Jim

"That's it three weeks and no more Sara Sidle, how long have you known?" He asked

"I've known for three years that it had finally taken hold of my body but three months ago I got the worst pain ever and the doctor confirmed I'd have three months to live, which is now three weeks to you" she answered

"I'm so sorry Sara, you are my little princess, I've watched you grow into a remarkable CSI and I'm proud to call you my daughter" he said hugging her

"Jim, I'm proud to call you my dad, I want to thank you for being there for me, I never had a family that cared and you were there for me like a father would be, you're my best friend and well I'm going to miss you" she said

"Everyone is going to feel the loss Sara, but I'll keep my word and help make this the best three weeks of your life" he said smiling as happily as he could manage under the circumstances.

"Thanks again Jim, I'd better go home and get some rest, busy night at work you know" Sara said pulling him into another hug

"I guess your right, hey hold you're your head up high won't you, princess?" he said as she walked to her car.

"I sure will Jim" she smiled before driving home.

Several hours later, Sara was heading back to the lab for another shift. She passed Ecklie on his way home but he merely nodded at her and she smiled just to be polite. As she walked into the locker room she expected to see or hear at least one person banging around but it was deserted, _oh well at least I can take my med's here _she thought popping them into her mouth. Once she had her uniform on and her bottle of water in her hand she headed to the break room only to stop outside when she heard her name thrown into their conversation.

"I'm telling you something's up with Sara, she is spending time with each of us and I saw her go into Ecklies office" Nick said trying to prove a point

"Don't assume anything Nick, she will tell us when she's ready" Catherine said her disappointment showing in her voice

"Look I agree with Nick, something is definitely going on and I want to know, if Ecklies fired her or whatever I need to know" Nick said like the brother she felt he was.

"Man, I was going to have a heart attack when I heard her ask me to play poker, I mean we haven't had the best relationship and yes we are friends but poker?" Warrick added

"I don't know guys, she seems like herself, I mean she's lost weight and her skin is paler than usual but I don't see what you guys are" Greg said

_Only Greg would notice something like that_ Sara thought to herself as she rested against the wall outside the break room

"You two haven't had much to say, do you know what's going on" Catherine asked Jim and Grissom

Both of them shrugged their shoulders in a slightly suspicious manner

"Sara's life is her own and what she does in her spare time stays private" Grissom said hoarsely "as well as whats happening in her life"

"Yeah…erm…I'm going to go and check with Sofia she has to work a double" Jim said avoiding the conversation

"Oh hey Jim" Sara said feeling she should make her presence known "Guy's"

She nodded as she took a seat between Grissom and Greg.

Sara felt odd, like every one had their eyes on her and were questioning her silently. She knew they would suspect something but the way Grissom stared at her was like he knew and although he couldn't possibly know something was telling her he knew.

"So are we having another quiet night then? She asked happily

"No, we have a double homicide, which Greg, Warrick and myself will attend to first and call if we need back up, can you three go over this old case?" Grissom said handing a case file to Catherine

"Sure, shall we go to my office?" Catherine asked Nick and Sara

"Yeah, its way comfier in there" Nick said handing Sara a coffee "Here you'll need that" he winked heading out of the door

Just as Sara stood up to leave Grissom put a hand on her arm sending shockwaves through her body, placing a letter in her hand he let go and followed Warrick and Greg out of the room.

Sara stood looking at the letter and decided to open it later, seeing Catherine staring at her, she looked up and smiled picking up her coffee and heading to Catherine's office

"So guys I am heading out to the new nightclub that opens at seven till seven" Sara said to Nick and Catherine "You guys want to join me some time next week?" she asked thinking this was the only way she could spend some time with Nick and Catherine

"What? Sara Sidle wants to go to a nightclub" Nick said jokily

"Yes Nick I do, I want to see you dance and Cath, you get a chance to take me shopping" she said innocently

"Hmm and the reason for this is?" Catherine said her curiosity getting the better of her

"I just want to spend some time with you guys" she said impatiently

"Well I'll go if Warrick, can come too" Catherine answered "I so want to buy this new dress I've seen" suddenly acting all girly

"Sure the others can come along, but Nick my first dance is reserved for you, ok" she smiled

"Fair enough Sidle" Nick answered

"One thing though, we have to be in work so does that men no drinking?" Catherine asked

"Actually, I've cleared it with Ecklie so that next Tuesday we have the night off" Sara smiled happily at their shocked faces

"How in the heck did you get everyone a night off?" Catherine asked amazed

"Erm…I said it was for special circumstances and he accepted, said day shift would cover" she lied slightly

"Well great, we can go shopping Monday then" Catherine said "Now this case"

Nick looked back up from the case file and smiled at Sara, "Your one hell of a CSI Sara, to get Ecklie who quite frankly hates you to give us all the night off, Man I'd probably get fired for just thinking about it"

"I used a little charm and well it goes a long way" she smiled

If only they knew she thought sadly knowing her time in this life was dwindling away from her.

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TBC… please review…four chapters and counting are you ready for it? 


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N.** Right four chapters to go huh? I'm trying my best to update as much as possible but it's definitely hard

**Disclaimer**…I'm having fun trying to think of new ways to say I don't own CSI, so much fun in fact I now have a list and that's scary, for this one I'll sick with the no money so can't possibly own them scenario. Ha ha

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Surprise, was one thing plastered on Grissom's face when Ecklie walked into his office, closed the door behind him and took a seat on Grissom's couch.

"Conrad, I'm not a counsellor so maybe you should turn back and leave my office" Grissom said jokingly

"I'm not in the mood Gil, I have some important information to tell you in private and I need to sit down, I've been up all day working" he replied distantly

"Well do share" Grissom said intrigued at this new side to Ecklie

"I know that our relationship is...strained to say the least" he paused "I also know that some things in your shift don't exactly run as smoothly as I'd like"

"Conrad…" Grissom said

"Please let me finish…I have had a member of your team hand in their resignation" he stopped again causing Grissom to shift around in his seat "Well I promised this member of staff I wouldn't divulge their reason for leaving…"

"Who?…" Grissom asked interrupting again

"However as their supervisor and also I suspect some hint of mutual attraction to one another, I feel obliged to inform you of some very grave news" Conrad said sympathetically

Grissom started to realise who he was talking about but at the mention of grave news he became rooted to the spot

"Gil, Sara Sidle has…less than three weeks I believe and I'm sorry that she never told you but she seemed genuinely distraught and begged me not to tell anyone" he said looking down at his feet

"Conrad…are…you…saying" he stuttered

"Gil, Sara is dying inevitably and I don't want her to face it alone, no one should have to face that" he said standing up to clasp a hand on Grissom's shoulder

"I…can't believe…why would she not…my…Sara" he said not able to form a sentence

"Gil, I know you like her, maybe even love her and I also know you haven't acted upon these feelings because of the rules and well I appreciate that but under the circumstances well, she needs someone who cares about her to be there with her and that person is you" Conrad said as Grissom placed his hands on the desk and thumped his head into them

"I thought yesterday when I was talking with my team that they were talking about Sara…never mind…this is…god…Conrad what can I do?" Grissom asked

"It's up to you, but be careful and chose the right moment, times like these are well difficult and precious" he answered before walking out of the office

Sighing Grissom paged Catherine, he didn't feel able to stand up and being told the love of his life will shortly be gone he felt truly isolated, miserable and heart broken.

"What, Gil?" Catherine asked

"Will you hand out assignments?" he said desperately

"Gil, what's happened, are you ill? You look pale" she said sitting down in front of his desk

"No, I'm just busy, please give out the assignments and tell Greg to meet me here, I am working with him today" he said avoiding Catherine's stare

"Something's up, and I'm not dropping the subject but I have to go and give out assignments like you asked so excuse me…for now" she said picking up the slips of paper with each crime scene detail.

Dodging Sara that week was hard but Gil Grissom managed it fairly easily, the letter he had given her yesterday told of the time date and meeting place for the body farm trip and so he didn't need to talk to her for that, messages he wanted to send her were delivered by less than happy members of the lab and when he saw her he simply avoided her questioning eyes and moved so quickly she couldn't possibly catch up with him.

Sara sat in the locker room on Monday morning feeling frustrated and angry, slamming her fist into the door of her locker caused Catherine to scream as she emerged from the showers.

"Sara, you trying to give me a heart attack?" she asked

"Sorry Cath, I'm just so….humph" she sighed

"I know how that feels but honestly warn someone before you punch the locker or there will be a crime scene here in the lab" she said smiling "So shopping eh?"

"Hmmm, shopping want to grab a coffee too?" Sara asked feeling thirsty and tired

"Sure why not" Catherine replied happily "Tomorrow nights going to be a blast"

"Yeah, I can't wait" Sara replied sliding a clean top over her head

"Well lets not waste any more time, the shops open soon and time isn't going to stand still for you" Catherine said grabbing her purse and heading out of the locker room

If only you knew Catherine Sara thought following Catherine outside...

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TBC…please read and review, I promise this story will not disappoint and I'll be able to restore the faith you have in me

(one question could I really kill off my Favourite character?)

Read the next few chapters to find out…updates soon :D


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N.** 3 chapters to go, hold on tightly :D This is a slightly longer chapter but hopefully just as good.

**Disclaimer**…I have written a wish list, 1. CSI 2. CSI 3.CSI 4.The rights to CSI, CBS, and the cast and crew...I can hope right? Oh I do own Felicity though he he...

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Sitting in the cafe on the top floor of the mall was Catherine and Sara each enjoying a muffin and coffee.

"So Sara, hows life outside of work?" Catherine asked making small talk to interupt the silence.

"Fine, thanks...hows lindsey?" Sara asked tiredly

"Shes a teenager, what do you think?" Catherine laughed

"Hmmm yeah I know what you mean, but at least she's growing up with a really good role model...you're doing great job" Sara said easily

"Thanks Sara, it's hard but...I think it will pay off when she becomes a lawyer or something" Catherine said watching Sara with interest as she rummaged in her bag for something "You want help?" she said

"Oh, I'm just looking for erm...my meds" Sara said giving up on making up a fake object

"Sara are you ill?" Catherine asked noticing the paleness and weight loss as if it had suddenly just happened

"Not really, my doc says I'm run down" Sara shrugged avoiding Catherine's stare

"Sara, if you're run down take a few weeks off, I'm sure Grissom won't mind

"Yeah I already am in three weeks Catherine, I'm taking a couple weeks off maybe longer, it depends" Sara replied

"Good, I mean, you know it's not good if you burnout and if you're already run down..." Catherine said knowledgably

"Well come on, we need to do some shopping before tonight, I have a lovely dress picked for me, but for you I have something out of this world" Catherine said with a sly smile "Grissom won't know whats hit him" she added laughing cruely

"Cath...I mean it, when I say this, I don't want to hurt Grissom anymore, we can't be together and i'm happy with that" Sara said trying to hide the fact she had a secret that would and probably will already leave him heart broken

"Sara Sidle, I have seen the two of you, skirting around each other, pulling your hands back at the slightest touch, staring at one another when the others not looking," Catherine said "How can you deny your feelings for him Sara"

"I have been hurt and I told him it's too late, please" Sara pleaded

"No way Sara, you are going to make him sweat, he will want you so badly by the end of the night, trust me or my names not Catherine Willows" she smirked

"I can't believe this is happening" Sara muttered as Catheine linked her arm and pulled her into H and M.

Two hours later their arms dangling from the weight of the shoppping bags they were carrying both said goodbye and exited to their own vehicles.

.> > > > > > > 

It was half past seven and Nick, Warrick, Greg and Grissom were all stood looking very nice in black shirts and trousers whilst Catherine was on her mobile talking to her mother about Lindsey, they were waiting for Sara who was late to arrive.

"So where is she, I mean it was her idea for this shindig" Greg asked excitedly

"Hey, stop right there G man, she asked me to dance first" Nick said pulling Greg by the arm and laughing

"Guys, stop fighting and you might be able to see who's just pulled up" Warrick said over their arm twisting game

The two 'lads' stopped and looked in the direction Warrick and Grissom were to find Sara Sidle dressed to impress. Her black dress trailed the floor whilst the beads and sequins design on the top half of her dress made her cleavage standout. The dress seemed to make her more beautiful than ever allowing itself to cling to her hips and legs showing her curvaceous form.

"Sara , where the hell have you been?" Catherine asked stepping in the way of the guy's view

"Catherine, get out the way, you're spoiling my view" Greg shouted impaitently

"Shove it Greg" Sara replied "I'm sorry Cath, I couldn't find my purse" She lied stepping over to the other guy's

"Wow, you look...gorgeous" Nick said still gawking at her like she was a dream

She blushed when he offered her his arm but she took it and they walked into the bar, ready to party.

"Gil, are you just going to stand there all night" Catherine had to shout seeing he was still standing in the same position

"Oh yeah, just give me a minute" he replied

Grissom took a few deep breathes to clear his mind from the thoughts he was having... _how could she be dying when she looks like that_. _Lifes too short to do the things you should have_ he carried on thinking as he realised he was too late to do anything about 'this' refering to the situation between Sara and himself.

"Gil, for god sake, get inside" Catherine shouted running up to him and pulling on his arm

"Ok, I just needed some fresh air Cath" he replied rubbing his arm

They went inside to the main dance floor where the gold glitter walls and silver ceiling was making everyone glow and headed towards the table reserved for them.

"Finally Grissom, we thought you had gotten lost" Greg said pushing a drink towards him

Grissom shook his head and avoided Sara who was sitting next to Nick

"So I've got us a private bar for later on when we are too drunk to remember where we are, they provide a taxi service for those in the room so don't worry about anything" Sara smiled

"You really have gone the whole way havent you Sar..." Nick stated standing up to lead her to the dance floor as Brass took one of the vacent seats that were left.

"Nice of you to join us" Sara said giving him a hug

"I wouldn't miss you in a dress for nothing" he joked downing his scotch

Grissom manouvered himself so he was facing the dance floor and seated next to Brass.

"In all my years of knowing you Gil, not once have I ever seen you in a bar" Brass chuckled as Warrick and Catherine got up to dance.

"Yeah Grissom, why is that" Greg said already on his third drink

"I do come out of my shell once every ten years or so..." he managed before Sara caught his eyes, Nick was twirling her and to everyone else she looked happy but her eyes told a different story and wishing he had the power to heal her he looked away to find Brass staring at him

"You know, you could get locked up for a long time if i reported you as a pervert Jim" he laughed as he picked his drink up "Staring is rude"

"Ah Gil, if only you knew" Brass sighed as he too glanced at Sara

Greg got up at that moment to dance and after three drinks his legs were already wobbly and walking over to Sara his knees gave way causing the whole bar to laugh at him, cursing he got up and walked the last few steps to Sara.

"May I cut in" he said offering his arm to Sara, she was still laughing but looked at Nick and took Gregs hand

"Thanks Nick, you are a great dancer" she said as Greg placed his hand on her waist

"You're welcome Sara, I'm heading to the bar as there is a cute blonde waving at me" he smiled before strutting over to his new conquest

"Wow he's a fast one" Greg said as he swayed on the spot

"How many have you had Greg?" she asked looking at the drunk state he was in while she led him around the dance floor

"One, or three" he replied smiling widely "You look simply beautiful Sara"

"Thanks Greg, you don't look so bad yourself" she said seeing him light up at her compliment

She looked over to Grissom and Brass who were having a really big conversation, Grissom kept glancing over at her and she decided to focus on Greg to stop any uncomfortable glances between the two of them.

"Gil...I need to..." Brass started but Grissom interupted

"Jim...I know" he said nodding to where Sara was now picking Greg up from his drunken stumble.

"How?" Brass asked

"Ecklie felt I should know the circumstance of Sara's resignation...I can't believe i'm losing her...I'm too late" he said willing the tears that were forming to disappear.

"Oh, Gil...I don't know what to say...she is going to leave one hell of a whole in everyone's lives especially yours and I think that even though its going to hurt you maybe you should try and give her a happy memory to go out with" Brass said gulping down another scotch

"She has made it pretty clear she doesn't want to hurt me but I will be even if nothing happens between us" He said as a presence at the table shut him up

"Hey, you two look like your in need of some female company" Sara said as she sat down next to Grissom

"Hey doll, what are drinking, i'll go and get you one" Brass said smiling at her

"Oh, Jim I'll have a beer please, dancing makes a girl thirsty" she said happily ashe alked over to the bar

"Sara, can I have a dance with you later on?" Grissom asked shyly

"Of course you can, I'm shocked that you dance Griss..." she said stopping as he turned to look at her with a face full of pain and sadness "whats up, you look sad" she asked taking his hand in hers. he shuddered at the lightness of the touch and he felt his stomach do a backflip as she traced her thumb over his.

"Nothing, you look so unbelievably beautiful tonight and stunning and ..." he said stopping as she squeezed his hand

"Thanks, but your making blush" she joked as Jim sat back down noticing their entwining hands

Grissom let go and picked up his drink as an excuse to part himself from the shockwaves flowing through his body at their touch.

"So doll, you did all this by yourself?" Jim inquired about the private room and reserved table

"Yeah, I sure did, it didn't take much and they said noone had booked that room for tonight so it was ours" she smiled as Greg bounded over to them with a tray of drinks that looked ready to slip out of his hands

"Balabing Balabong, he said placing the tray on the table

"Greg, what on earth are all these drinks?" Grissom asked shaking his head

"I ashked...for one of every shhhot" he replied slightly slurring his words

"Wow Greg, is that for me?" Catherine asked picking up a green coloured drink from the table as she and Warrick sat down

"No, put that back, they are all mine, all mine" he repeated but not getting his drink back

"Ah Greg, what do you need all these for anyways?" she asked

"Free day off work with no chance of being called in, I'm getting drunk baby" he replied picking up a bright red shot glass

"Looks like someone's getting laid tonight" Warrick shouted earning himself evil glance from Sara and Catherine "What it's the truth" he defended pointing over at Nick and the blonde making out.

"Want to move to the private room everyone?" Sara asked eyeing Gregs worsening state

Everyone nodded and got up Grissom offered his hand to Sara without thinking but too late to remove it as she already grabbed it and lifted herself up, she noticed he stiffened at her touch but chose to ignore it as she moved her other hand to pick up her dress to prevent herself from tripping over. She didn't let go of Grissom's hand but held on tightly as if wanting protction from him and he softened up letting her break the new defences he had placed around his heart after hearing the bad news and leading her into the private room.

It was much smaller than the other room and more plainer as the glitter wasnt present, it was still gold and silver and there was around thirty chairs and eight tables placed around the room with a smaller dance floor in the middle, Greg immediately started sliding down the dance floor on his knees skidding to a halt at the other side of the room.

The bar was a free for all and so they could help themselves, music played softly in their ears and they sat down in one of the corner seats as Greg moved from chair to chair creating a questioning glance from the other people in the room

"What...?" Brass asked as Greg finally joined them

"I was marking my territory, so to speak" he replied getting back up to go and fetch Nick

"If he doesn't sit still when he gets back, he'll regret it" Catherine warned as Nick sheepishly brought the blonde in with him

"You don't mind do you?" he said to them as the girl held onto his hand

"Of course not Nick" Sara replied warmly signalling for him to come and sit down,

"Greg, what are you doing?" Catherine asked as several bangs on the counter caused everyone to jump

"Behold, Gregs mini bar, requests for cocktails now allowed" he said nearly knocing a bottle of vodka to the floor

"Sit down Greg now" Catherine said "Warrick is very good at making cocktails"

"So what, I'm better" but sensing defeat he started to walk back to the table only he noticed the juke box and headed over like a kid in a candy shop "Wow a jukebox" he said laughing at his choice of first song

The Hamster song came on loudly and Greg started to dance wildly chuckling at himself if he did a funny move, the rest of the gang were happily sat drinking one of Warrricks cocktails as another song came on and Grissom lifted Sara to her feet to dance, Warrick also lifted Catherine up and both pairs started to twirl on the dancefloor as Nick offered the blonde whose name was Felicity his hand and they got up to dance.

"Brass, you have no-one to dance to and this song rules" Greg said offereing his hand as Billy Ocean's Suddenly rang out

"Greg no way am I dancing with you, in that state, sit down and have another drink instead" Brass answered

"Aw man, I like this song aswell, but seeing as you are allowing me another drink when Catherine has told me no more...well I can't refuse" he said sittng down to listening to the new song that came on.

Sara and Grissom were at the far side of the room now dancing slowly to the music, no-one else seemed to matter now and they only had eyes for each other. Grissom placed his hand on Sara's cheek and she smiled.

"I don't want to spoil this moment Sara...but there's something you have to...well...I know" he said stroking her face

"You know what?" Sara asked confused

"I know I'm too late, I know you are..." he said not able to carry on so Sara finished it for him

"Dying" she whispered so no-one else could hear "Who told you?" she asked quietly

"Ecklie..thought I should know...he seemed to think there was a mutual attraction between the two of us and said no one should die alone" he finished looking into her eyes

"Gil, I didn't want you o find out like this" she said but only to be cut of by his finger silencing her

Everyone except Greg who had passed out were now watching the scene between Sara and Gil, Catherine was smiling as was Nick and Felicity, Warrick just looked stunned but Jim looked happy and yet sad at the same time knowing this scene was bitter sweet

"Shh, Sara...I want to say I'm sorry, I know now that my love for you is too late to be of any use and I am heart broken at the fact I can no longer look into your eyes and see the love or passion there...I am going to miss you more than anything and even though it will hurt me, I want to be there when you go" he said quietly into her ear before moving his lips to kiss her softly

No-one could hear what was being said but the kiss had satisfied the team and so they went back to dancing and drinking, Grissom held Sara as her tears fell freely and he felt completely useless.

"Gil, I need you more than anyone right now and I didn't want to see you upset for it would break my heart and I would die unhappily" she said wiping her eyes

"Sara, I will be strong for you now and always I promise" he said as he led her back to the table before she collapsed

"Hey doll, everything's going to be ok, I will look after the team for you especially Greg and Gil" Brass said moving closer to her

"Thank you" she replied "I think I want to go home now" she said looking at Grissom

"Ok, I'll take you home in a taxi Sara" Grissom answered standing up to phone a taxi

"Who knew eh?" Brass said pointing at Warrick and Catherine who were kissing passionately in the corner of the room whilst Nick and Felicity were doing the same in the opposite corner

"I'll get a taxi for Warrick and Catherine and since I live near Nick, I'll share with him...do you mind taking Greg" Brass asked Sara and Grissom and Greg stirred

"Wheres the one eyed pony" Greg said looking around

"At home Greggo" Brass answered laughing

"Oh, well can I go home then sir, I need to look after it" he said in a sleepy voice

"Sure son, let Grissom and Sara take you" he said soothingly

Within half an hour the three groups were setting off in there taxi's as the night drew to an end. Greg sat happily in the passenger seat talking animatedly about this one eyed pony named Bill whilst the driver frowned, Sara laid her head against Gil's chest closing her eyes slightly savouring this moment knowing she had just under two weeks left.

The other two taxi's were now empty of their passengers and setting off back to the taxi rank to await another call, Greg was now tucked up in bed asleep. Grissom gave diections for his townhouse not wanting Sara to spend another night alone, he spoke softly to her...

"Sara, I'm taking you to my place, I have a guest room for you to use...I don't want to leave you alone anymore...ok?" he asked

She nodded and let him guide her to his home, she let him rid her of her dress and he placed a shirt of his over her slender body, she slid under the covers as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you Sara" he whisered as he closed the door

"I love you too Gil" she muttered back before falling to sleep

Twenty minutes later however she awoke feeling pain spread around her body, she moved to sit up and decided she need comfort, so she blindly foun her way to Grissom's room. She climbed in beside him placing her arm over his chest as she lay down. He moved slightly and covered her up more comfortably softly saying "Couldn't sleep?"

She mumbled a no, snuggling to him, enjoying the feeling of his skin against her body. "I'm so lucky to have you Sara" he said but she was already alseep.

If only she knew thought Grissom as he too fell asleep...

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TBC...well this leaves only two chapters...please read and review, I need to know how I am doing. (I know this was an upsetting chapter but if you see this through I promise the last chapter will leave you happy) :D


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N.** ok so, two chapters left huh? wow this story has just flown by if only I had more ideas for it but sadly I don't and well it is nearing the end so too late to add anything anyway. Read and review please D

**Disclaimer,** how about I sing for CSI, my friend makes a fortune singing downtown maybe I could...nah I have to face the fact i'll never own CSI :(

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The next week Sara stayed with Grissom allowing him to care for her; she felt the pain more and more and had to phone in sick for the last few days.

"Sara, do you want something to eat" Grissom called as he entered his townhouse after shift

"No…erm I'm not feeling too good" she said lying back down in his bed.

He stood in the doorway and watched he as she curled up into a ball, sliding in next to her he enveloped her in a protective hug and she moved into him to join their bodies.

"Do you still feel up for the body farm?" Grissom asked

"Maybe…" she whispered before falling asleep again, her body was not used to the pain and she felt tired so quickly

"Ok honey" he said back to her quietly as he too fell asleep.

They woke up four hours later when the phone kept ringing…

"Grissom" he mumbled into the phone

"Its Catherine, I was just ringing to see how Sara is, she told me the other day she was run down and I presumed after our night out she would be spending a few nights with you" Catherine said brightly even though she had just pulled a double and only had two hours sleep

"She's ok Cath, not too well but ok" he said yawning

"Well tell her to get well soon from us ok" she said

"I will…" he paused when he thought he could hear Warrick shout for Catherine "I'll let you go Cath, sounds like Warrick needs you" he said as Catherine tried to shut him up

"Oh, yeah, bye Gil" she stuttered closing her phone

Sara moved in her sleep and Grissom turned her around to face him…

"Hey, Griss who was that?" she asked moaning from the pain

"It was Catherine and Warrick, they wanted to know how you were" he said stroking her back.

"Oh, Griss…I'm really going aren't I?" she said tears now falling freely onto her pillow

"Sara…I don't know what to do or say" he said pulling her close to him

"I…haven't lived much and I never got to be with you Gil" Sara said in between sobs

"You will always have me as I will always have you, in here" he said placing her hand on his heart

"But…I'm not going to be here soon, I will be a memory and I don't even know where I'm going" she said

"Sara, I'm so sorry" he said but she silenced him with a kiss

"It's not your fault, please Grissom never believe that" she said pulling on her tough girl act

"Sara if I had only took a chance; I would have been able to love you for longer" he said his voice full of regret

"Grissom, I know this hurts and I'm scared, but I love you and you love me, that's all I've ever wanted I will die happy knowing I had you even if for a while" she said reassuringly

"I do love you Sara, more than anything" he said kissing her back putting all his emotions and feelings into the kiss.

"I think I can mange the body farm Griss…" she said once he pulled away.

"If you're sure, I mean your only…you've only got one week" he said desperately

- - - - - -- - - - -- - -

An hour later Sara and Grissom were on their way to the body farm, she was asleep in the passenger seat and her head was laid against the window. Grissom smiled at her even though his heart was breaking. they arrived at the body farm and he walked around to her side to get her out.

"Sara honey...we're here" he said softly

"Griss...I don't want to die" she said "Help me"

"Please Sara...I wish this wasn't happening and I wish it was me instead of you" he said pleadingly

"I'm sorry Griss...I didn't mean what I said, its just the tiredness" she yawned

"You still feel ok to do this?" he asked taking hold of her hand

"Yeah...lets go" she answered

They began to walk around the entrance reading the information pannels and picking up leaflets

"This one looks interesting Griss..." she said pointing out a body with bugs

"Ah yes, we can make that our first body" he replied

"Yeah...I'd like that"

"Shall we" he suggested holding out his arm

He led her out to the first body and she gasped at the realness of the bodies. He smiled when he saw her gasp and decided to show her round the next one.

"So what did you think?" he asked as they left the building

"That was amazing Griss" she smiled at him as he helped her into the car

"I'm glad you liked it"

"As long as I'm with you, I would enjoy anything, even the dentists" she laughed

"Ah, the dreaded dentists" he chuckled as he pulled out of the carpark

---------------------------------------

Sara's last week was spent with Grissom at his townhouse and although her apartment was cosy, Grissom's home was perfect and she felt like she belonnged there. She slept in Grissom's bed and would wake up to him arriving home with a muffin and coffee. the sight of him made her feel warm but she couldn't lose the feeling of pain surrounding her body. As she lay back down she felt her time was up.

"Griss...Gil...I don't think I'm going to be here much longer" she said

He sat down realising this was the end "Sara I'm here, go to sleep, everything will be fine I promise you" he whispered as he leant in to give her one last lingering kiss.

She felt her eyes grow heavy and she succumbed to the pain that held her body. Grissom sat by her side letting his silent tears fall onto her beautiful skin. "I love you Sara" he whispered as he felt for a pulse and finding she had finally left him...

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TBC... SHOCKING NEWS ha ha sorry how rude of me...erm one more chapter hope you enjoyed this. :D


	10. Chapter 10

A/N … so the last chapter has arrived and I hope you like it.

Disclaimer … I'm too upset at the ending of another of my stories so I don't want to make up a scenario in which I own CSI. I sadly do not.

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_Beep beep beep _

The sound of an alarm was going off in the distance or so Sara thought as she struggled to realise where she was.

Trying to open her eyes was difficult but she managed all the same, it took a while for her to recognise the house she was in but feeling the body beside her made her realise…

This is Grissom's house

She looked around wildly and felt water splash onto her hands, feeling her face she realised she had been crying.

Normally Sara would understand everything that went on around her and so today she was shocked.

"I shouldn't be here" she said aloud as her memory caught up with her "I should be dead" she whispered pinching her arm

_Hmmm not dead then, unless dead people can feel pain_ she thought.

Looking down at Grissom she saw his hand lying protectively on her stomach and she shook her head.

What on earth has been going on…?

_Beep beep beep_

There's that noise again she thought reaching over Grissom to turn off the alarm.

"You shouldn't do that you know" Grissom voice sounded as she sat back against the headrest

"What" she answered now really confused

He sat up and looked at Sara "Have you been crying?" he asked softly

"Well, yes I guess" she replied

"What's wrong honey has the baby kept you up?"

"Baby, honey, what…where…when" she struggled to make out a sentence

"Sara you're not making any sense" he said wiping her eyes

"Griss… I should be dead…I've just spent the last four weeks or so with the guy's at work and they should be reading their letters I gave to Brass to hand out once I had gone" she said even more confused

"Sara, you must have been dreaming, you're definitely not dead nor dying" he said pulling her into a hug

"But…it seemed so real and…" she finished looking at Grissom "Oh my…we are married aren't we" she said as her life flashed before her eyes

"Yes Sara and we are having a baby "he answered really confused

"I was dreaming" she replied "I never want to feel like that again Griss"

"Feel like what?"

"Feel alone and ill" she replied

"Sara, honey I love you and will protect you" he said realising it must have been one hell of a dream to make her cry and forget her life like that

"I'm so happy" she exclaimed

"Me too…if only you knew" he said

"Well why don't you show me" she replied seductively pulling him into a kiss

"You should have dreams like this more often if you're going to kiss like that…Mrs Grissom" he answered as they lay back down on their bed. Sara felt happier than ever and she was having a baby...what more could a girl want?

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**THE END**

Well that was it, I'm not too happy with this ending but I decided to go with it as I felt like it was the best option out of the three I had. Please read and review.


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